the pizza guy is gonna put tonight on his résumé
i made this post about the oscars and the pizza guy but now i’m sure that 95% of the ppl reblogging it now are thinking i fucked a pizza guy when i did not there has been a grave misunderstanding here my friends
Lol serialrellihc pyromonkey
people that argue with cashiers are the worst kind of people
So I accidentally said, “my crotch has a hole in it.” Instead of “my pants have a hole in them.” And this guy looked me dead in the eyes and whispered
"It’s called a vagina."
Rita Skeeter, “Dumbledore’s Army Reunites at Quidditch World Cup Final”
headcanon that Neville punched Harry right in the goddamn face for naming his son Albus Severus